Cubix Robots for Everyone: Race'n Robots (PSX, PC, 2001)

Review by PiE

Yes, I’m serious. We’re actually doing this now.

 

I bet some of you are saying, “Wait, wasn’t this a terrible TV show in the early 2000′s?” Yes, it was. In fact, it was a South Korean animation, something you (and I) didn’t know (thanks Wikipedia). I remember being a kid, and watching this (along with some actually good shows) on The CW kids, which no longer exists anymore, from my knowledge.

 

For you, I played through the first 3 stages (Chapter 1)! But only those, because the game feels too repetitive after that.

Here, we’re crusin’ ’round the streets of Bubble town, the game’s – as well as the TV show’s – main setting. At this point, you realize that the game is pretty odd when it comes to… well, everything. To start off, you accelerate by pushing the left stick in whatever direction you want to move in, unlike most racing games, were X is to accelerate. But here, we use X to activate your current item, which is the strangest thing ever. The items aren’t that good anyway, so you can do the whole entire race with a single hand.

 

How bad are the items? Well, you’ve got  a booster, a missile, a shield, and a car horn (WHO THE HECK CAME UP WITH THAT?). They pretty much do what they sound like they’d do, the car horn shooting out a low range sound wave that’s only useful if your right next to someone.

 

As we know, an obscure game needs an obscure character to back it up. For this one, we can say all the characters fit the role. The TV show provided us with some odd balls, like a fat boy who eats too much Mc Donalds*, a stupid looking nerd boy, and an ugly girl who just seems to exist to fill the role of “sole girl in a male demographic”* (Yes, yes, there are other girls in the show, but they’re kinda unimportant).

 

So, I’ll save you the rest of the game with this comment: all of the stages seem to have look-a likes used as future stages.

 

Because this game is so terrible, it gets the overall rating of 1/5 stars.

 

In fact, it doesn’t even deserve star pictures.

 

 This game is made by The 3DO Company, the same company that made the failing console, by the way. Now you know why the game is so bad!

*Probably not true. Probably

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